NEW MFER DERIVATIVE PROJECT BLASTS ONTO THE SCENE
DATELINE: APRIL 20, 2069—A microwave accident unleashes 6,969 new mfers into existence, going wild and vibing around the kitchen.
Their DNA is mixed with burnt nacho cheese, ciggie ash and a GAN running on a smartwatch stuck at 4:20 am. It’s up to you to mint them back onto the Ethereum blockchain before mom and dad wake up. Because these are no ordinary mfers! These mfers are BGANMFERS, the hot new NFT derivative mash-up for 2069.
bganmfers gone wild
<<< COMING SOON >>>
6,969/6,969 bganmfers | 0.xxx ETH
quick stat breakdown
total number
6,969
mint price
tbd
traditional mfers
plain, charcoal, ape, zombie, alien, 1/1
copyright & IP
cc0 creative commons, mfer
blockchain contract
ethereum ERC-721
image creation
general adversarial network
new mfers
charplain, inchoate, irradiated, nacho and ash, circuitry ‘n code, microwave-infused, 4:20 watch inception, astral glob, hype AF, 1/1 mp4
percentage rare
~26.9%
inspiration
mfers x bganpunks x ‘80s microwave manuals
trait number
550+ different attributes!
due dill
# reserve for the bganmfer team/community giveaways - tbd
Okay, what the heck is going on here?
An Origin Story
by Ol’ Tappyᵐᶠᵉʳ
It was just an accident! NBD!
Picture it. A dark and stormy night somewhere IRL. A mfer was up late at night working hard on a new GAN he’d been coding. It wasn’t until a little bit after 4 AM that he realized he hadn’t eaten dinner. He was starving! He seemed to remember his dad coming in to check on him hours ago, to ask him if he was… winning?—why would his dad ask that? Anyway—and to tell him dinner was ready: nachos.
one meme to rule them all
But that was hours ago and his tubmly was hella rumbly now. So the mfer blue-toothed the code to his smartwatch (he was going to code while he ate nachos, that’s how gangsta this mf was—it wasn’t a grind, he vibed on code).
He went upstairs to the kitchen to get dem nachos. He got all the ingredients together. Popped open the microwave. Put them all inside. Set the timer to 4 minutes and 20 seconds. Reached for the start button. Then… promptly fell flat on his round fat face, face-first into the microwave, ciggie in mouth, headphones on ears.
Mfer was fast asleep.
some good looking nachos
Well guess what… the microwave shouldn’t have run. It couldn’t have run. There are safety mechanisms in place to stop a microwave from running if the door is open.
But it did run.
Why? Because it was in that moment that the storm which had been raging all night finally went total aggro and shot a massive bolt of lightning directly at his house—like Zeus finger-blasting this mfer’s domicile—sending 1.21 jizzillion jigawatts of electricity straight into the microwave, blowing that thing apart.
Zeus finger-blasting this mfer’s domicile
And it was in that moment that an unholy blend of blockchain technology, food processing equipment, nacho cheese, cigarettes, headphones, advanced neural network code and one Patient Zero mfer fused together at the molecular level, glued together with a radiation paste.
It was in that moment that 6,969 NEW bastard GAN mfers began spewing from a fiery wormhole inside the microwave, like a fountain of non-fungible mfing-ness, like the mfing Big Bang.
Soon they were all over the kitchen, smoking, vibing, jumping on the mfer’s face. He came to, frazzled, razzled and bedazzled, smoldering from the lightning blast.
henlo new frens
“Oh shiz!” he shouted. The mfer’s dad was gonna kill him! “Not again!” This was the third time this week he’d let a 10k pfp project get frigging irradiated in the family microwave and trash the house! UGH! What do!? Plz ser, mi famalie! Mint these bastards back onto Ethereum!
Holy shit. Wait, what???
A Rebuttal
by Crypto Droctorᵐᶠᵉʳ
NFTS are taking over the world, everything is new and crazy, and yet two of the coolest projects out there haven’t been blended yet. That’s right: mfers and Bastard Gan Punks. (Legal: We have no affiliation with either of these projects except as acolytes and camp followers.)
We’ve been wanting to try our hands at General Adversarial Networks for a while now. GANS are a type of artificial intelligence that are at the bleeding edge of technology, up there with quantum computing and Elon’s tweets. You run a bunch of stuff through a computer and the computer brainstorms and prints out similar examples. The real-world applications have yet to be scratched. Much like crypto and NFTs, GANs are in exploratory mode.
cool GAN stuff
Conceptually, NFTs pair really well with GANS.
So we took all 10,021 mfers as a dataset (maybe mixed in with a few errant bgan punks and 1980’s microwave manuals too), ran them through a GAN and spit out thousands of crazy GORGEOUS new mfers.
For your consideration, we kept 6,969 of the best because we’re memelords. The properties are compiled mostly by hand by our army of undergrad interns. Some of the attributes are random GPT-3 dreaming (another, text-based AI, baller in its own right [“baller in its own write™”]).
Et voila!
Anyway, making these were a blast and we are so excited to bring these lil’ bastards to the blockchain for you. We believe these bganmfers bring sartoshi’s vision to a new level, where if mfers are feeling a little naughtier, a little gooier than usual, and are in search of a pic that represents how they’re feeling that day, then bganmfers are are here for it.
Keep on ganning in the freeworld, mfing bastard mfers. Enjoy!
meet the mfing gan bastards, mfer
All sorts of wild and interesting new mfers were born that fateful night. All the old types are present: Plain, Charcoal, Apes, Zombies, Aliens. All exist at various points of “completeness.” Some are rendered delicately, as if drawn directly from the great Sartoshi’s stylus. Some… well, some of them look like molten piles of nacho cheese from the bowels of Chernobyl.
There’s something for everyone!
plain bganmfers (but can you really call them plain????)
ape bganmfers, aka bonobobganmfers
zombganmfers
ganliens, the rare mfers from beyond
meet the next gen mfers, the bganmfers exploding from the microwave onto the mfing scene
These are the new mfers. The New Kids on the Blockchain. The mfers where the GAN took off in strange, new directions. In the radiation explosion some mfers fused directly with the microwave, some with the food inside it, and some with the GAN code itself. A few limited bganmfers made the trip through interdimensional travel and wound up inside their 4:20 watches. Very mfing weird!
And some bganmfers traveled to our world from another dimension, using the microwave as a sacred portal: These “astral globs”—primordial entities radiating elemental mfer energies, mfer deities from across the universe—do not adhere to our simplistic laws of nature. We do not know what they want (we cannot understand their language). All we know is these mfers are real mfing mfers and THEY ARE HERE.
inchoate bganmfers (the raw mfers barely cooked)
irradiated bganmfers (the mfers cooked too long)
circuitry ‘n code bganmfers
microwave-infused DNA bganmfers
nacho-and-ash-infused DNA bganmfers
4:20 watch-inception bganmfers
astral globs (primordial mfers from another dimension)
And all the hype AF mfers of course! Some bganmfers exist in the 4th dimension: animated gifs and the ultra-cool 1/1’s
Animated bganmfers slideshow
Gorgeous, gelatinous gifs of gregarious glamorousness
The 1/1’s
The GAN microwave even went so far as to mix up some superfresh mp4s of the famous mfer 1/1’s. If you will notice, the movies start out with the initial image of the mfer archetype (the central character reaching toward a computer, a father figure and semblance of text above). But from there, things get nuts. The GAN will take you on a journey of magic & excitement, with text prompts straight out of “The Poet’s Guide to Iambic Pentameter and How to F That Shit Up”—these NFTs are the cream of the crop of the bganmferverse. And not to be undone, apparently the GAN surfed OpenSea for a while and made a few more 1/1s of other projects too: things like creepz, World of Women, Yats, j48baforms, Invisible Friends and Black Lotus, plus many more. TAKE A LOOK!
init_image: punk mfer
text_prompt: “cigarettes falling in nachos like raindrops on a deserted shopping mall roof”
init_image: beep mfer
text_prompt: “pipe-smoking grandpa in melting Atari 2600 bounce castle”
init_image: creepz mfer
text_prompt: “rancid alien meat hallucinoburgers sizzlin’ in the microwave”
init_image: lotus mfer
text_prompt: “now I am become dollars, the destroyer of black flowers”
famfingqs
(frequently asked mfing questions)
(we’ll have some famfingqs here when mfers a some mfingqs, k?)
-
bganmfers4lyfeamiriteAF
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It takes a village in heaven to make one angel in hell
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you can’t get there from here
Roadmap
LOL. No.
No drama, no grind, no discord, no roadmap.
NO PROBLEM.
If something happens in the future (and who’s to say there aren’t some avenues of excitement up around the bend?) it will be a happy accident, just like the bganmfers.*
So no, no “roadfap.” We just vibe. 🚬
*ok, maybe a discord if mfer’s are about it
Team Bastard Gan Mfer
-
Tapioca Sunlight ᵐᶠᵉʳ
He fucked up by falling asleep with the microwave door open, sorry mom and dad! (But without a villain there would be no adventure, right?)
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Crypto Droctor ᵐᶠᵉʳ
Coded the GAN thing on the 4:20 watch for his buddy Tappy and that’s it, so in the eyes of the law cannot be held responsible for what happened afterward in regards to the microwave accident! He wasn’t even there when it happened, he swears!
-
0xCourtneyᵐᶠᵉʳ
Coded the smart contract that captures the runaway BGANMFERS, so in a way is the true hero of this story!
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Gary from Marketingᵐᶠᵉʳ
Gary is a digital marketer making the leap from traditional markets, where he worked in the cardboard and mailables industry, to Web3, on such diverse projects as Bastard Gan MFERS, Twisted Turnips and DoggieDefi (decentralized finance for dogs). He is an alum of Duke University (Go Blue Devils!) and received his masters in Business Administration from the University of Massachusetts at Lowell (Go River Hawks!). He currently resides in Bay Shore, New York with his beautiful wife Linda, sons Paul, Frederico, Booch and Gary, Jr. and of course, their corgidoodle, Miss Sassy Selasse.
